Chinese proverb: No family can hang out the sign “Nothing The Matter Here”

About Couples

When a child is experiencing difficulties in school or with friends it is not unusual for parents to feel very triggered. Learning ways to accept how you’re feeling, notice your thoughts and find skilful ways to support yourself, your partner and your child are all things that we can do together in a safe non-judgemental environment.

Not only can a parent feel triggered but the parent’s relationship can come under pressure too. For example, one parent might experience the Fight/Flight/Freeze/Appease sympathetic nervous system in a way that leads to shouting (fight) while another might appease.
Both are responding from the need to handle the fear and worry of the situation. When parents start to attend to this in themselves and each other they can help each other notice when they are starting to get dysregulated and give each other support in coming back to a sense of safety. This co-regulation can be a wonderful support and powerful model to a child who is struggling.
Sessions with me are not couples therapy, instead they are a useful third space to consider the ways you are being affected by what’s happening with your child and how best to take care of yourselves and your relationship in the face of these challenges.

In sessions with me you will learn how to:
• Relax and come into a sense of psychological safety.
• Communicate in ways which are compassionate and respectful.
• Notice automatic “spam” thoughts and let them go: we don’t have to believe our thoughts.
• Problem solve: understanding what the problems are and exploring solutions.