I can’t sleep!

I CAN’T SLEEP!

I wonder when you first started having sleep problems?  

I remember the first time for me was as an anxious Teenager I found I couldn’t sleep without listening to my Walkman.  

Then after school it became chronic, and I would have whole nights of being completely awake.  I would spend the night on long walks or cleaning.

This received relief when I started seeing a therapist and the material that I was holding out of my conscious awareness came to light, and then I could rest.  It was as if a part of me was trying very hard to keep me away from my night-time brain, where I might meet the material I was so afraid to become aware of.

Then it was babies and young children and the deep and profound tiredness that comes from learning to function with very little sleep.  This time taught me to try to move through my day with as much peace and rest in my body and breath as I could.  “Breathe and chop the onions” became my mantra.

It was also at this time that I learnt something else important about sleep:  I had started to grind my teeth and would wake up with a tense jaw and sore teeth.

I realised that I couldn’t control what I did when asleep, but I could control my jaw tension during the day.  I tried then to constantly catch myself with a clenched jaw and release it. This worked and my night-time grinding stopped.  

All of this taught me something important about our night- time brains and our day-time brains and how we inhabit our minds during the day, has a direct impact on how we are able to rest at night.

For example, if we are in our threat fight/flight activated state most of the day and the body is tense, there is a feedback loop where the mind gets told by the body “DANGER!  LOOK OUT! DON’T REST!”. And the body gets told by the mind the same message leading to more tension.  

There’s that wonderful song by The Commitments “Do Right Woman, Do Right Man”. 

“If you want an all day do-right woman,

you have to be an all night do-right man”.

I think if we want an “All day do-right woman” (to function well during the day) then we need an “all night do-right man” (a good enough night’s sleep).  But what I learnt with my jaw is that the opposite is true, to not grind my teeth at night I needed to stop the chronic jaw tension during the day.

I was reminded recently of how hard it is for human babies to go to sleep.  I was babysitting my friend’s 6 month old, and the only way she could let go and feel safe enough to sleep is if she was being held, rocked and sung to.   You would think that this is an evolutionary hiccup; why do humans struggle to let go and sleep?  It seems that this feeling in the body-that we are safe and there are no emergencies can be cultivated during the day by catching the tension and panicky thoughts and letting them go so that when it comes to bedtime we have an “all night do-right man”.

How can therapy help this?  Typically people have tried to improve the obvious things: they have checked their sleep hygiene and made sure that this is as good as it can be, but then when they lie down to sleep their minds are racing, or their stomach and digestion just makes sleep impossible.

A key hormone in sleep is Serotonin, and around 90% of this is secreted in the gut lining.   Chronic tension and indigestion in the gut can create a negative feedback loop with Serotonin impacting on the Gut-Brain communication.  This is why sleep and IBS disorders are so linked and respond so well to Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy . 

But before I sign off, a little exercise for you to try.  Next time you stand up and start moving, can you do it with as little “efforting” as possible keeping as close to the peaceful “night time brain” as you can.

To find out more about how Hypnotherapy can help you get a wonderful night’s sleep get in touch: [email protected]