About Carolyn

Hello, I’m Carolyn

I’m an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist, psychotherapist and mindfulness teacher based in Farnham.

I work with adults online and from my therapy space in Farnham, and with children and young people in person.

I came to IFS through many years of working with people in different ways. Before becoming a therapist, I was a primary school music teacher for 30 years. Teaching music taught me something that has stayed at the heart of my work: the importance of listening.

When we really listen to someone, we begin to hear not only what they are saying, but what may be underneath their words – the feelings, fears, hopes and different parts of them that are asking to be understood.

From music to therapy

My first therapeutic training was in Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapy. I found hypnosis fascinating because of the way it can help us access parts of our experience that aren’t always available through conscious thinking.

I later discovered Internal Family Systems and something clicked into place.

IFS offered a way of understanding the complexity of being human that made sense to me. Instead of trying to get rid of the parts of ourselves that we don’t like, IFS invites us to become curious about them.

The anxious part.

The angry part.

The perfectionist.

The procrastinator.

The part that keeps everyone else happy.

The part that is exhausted from holding everything together.

All parts are welcome.

Mindfulness and the body

I’ve practised mindfulness for more than 30 years, and this has become an important part of how I work.

Our inner lives aren’t just made up of thoughts. We experience things in our bodies too – tightness, heaviness, agitation, numbness, warmth, energy and movement.

I pay attention to these experiences because they can offer another doorway into understanding what is happening inside us.

My work is therefore both compassionate and embodied. We don’t have to analyse everything. Sometimes we simply need to slow down enough to notice what is here.

What I bring to therapy

I try to offer a space that is warm, calm, curious and without judgement.

You don’t need to arrive knowing what you want to say. You don’t need to have the right words. And you don’t need to understand IFS before we begin.

My role is not to tell you what you should think or feel.

Instead, I will accompany you as you get to know your own inner system.

I particularly value working with people who have spent a long time feeling that something is wrong with them. Often, when we understand the positive intention behind our parts, we can begin to have a very different relationship with ourselves.

My professional background

I am a qualified and licensed Cognitive Behavioural Hypnotherapist and a trained mindfulness teacher. I am also trained in Internal Family Systems therapy, which is now the primary therapeutic approach I use.

I am a member of the National Council of Integrative Psychotherapists (NCIP).

I have particular experience working with anxiety, trauma, grief, parenting, relationships, emotional regulation, school resistance and the challenges faced by children and young people.

I also run groups and workshops exploring IFS, parenting, mindfulness, voice and wellbeing.

Finding the right therapist

Choosing a therapist is an important decision.

You might want to ask yourself:

Do I feel comfortable with this person?

Do I feel that they are really listening to me?

Do I feel that they are on my side?

Can I imagine being able to trust them?

I hope that when we speak, you will get a sense of whether I might be the right person to accompany you.

There is no pressure or obligation to begin therapy.

We can simply have a conversation and see what happens.

I warmly invite you to get in touch.

What’s going to change after seeing you?

Phase one of treatment:  Getting To Know You.  You will be checking me out and seeing if this is the right fit for you, but you will also start to notice your inner system more:  Your thoughts, feelings and behaviours start to be seen as “parts” of you all with their own (sometimes conflicting!), motivations and beliefs.

Phase two:  Learning more about your Parts.  As you become more skilled at listening to your inner world your parts will start to talk to you.  It’s like Hypnosis, but I will not be telling you anything, just guiding you to gently inquire and get curious about the parts that are showing up in your life.

Phase three: Unburdening your Parts so they can be the wonderful resource in your life that they were always designed to be.

And all these phases can be happening at once!  The underlying experience will be of greater ease and spaciousness inside with increased choice and freedom.

As the incomparable Brené Brown says, “sometimes the bravest thing you can do is just show up”.

The bit for teens to read:

Are you experiencing anxiety, or an inexplicable but overwhelming resistance to going to school?
Or, maybe you have constant intrusive thoughts that are preventing you from being your true authentic wild self?
Please know it does not have to be like this. You are not alone and IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. It really isn’t. You didn’t ask to be born in a post-pandemic, social media nut house. AND you can find a way out which will enable you to befriend your body, your emotions and your thoughts not to mention your future.

Maybe your brain is also resisting going into therapy because it is in a kind of “fight, flight freeze” stress response. If that’s the case your brain might be having some of these questions…

There’s some really cool evidence to suggest that when we talk through difficulties with someone who is compassionate and skilful we can find ways to solve problems in our lives that can have huge impacts on our future happiness.

It’s true that there are some things in life we can’t do anything about and that sucks.  Climate change, political shenanigans, parents divorcing, unskilful teachers or peers.  But there are things we can change, and the thing we can do the most about; the way we look at issues, is the easiest way in.  It’s like the brain can get caught into looking at life with a particular pair of distorting glasses and we can change those glasses to help us navigate life with more ease, self-compassion and curiosity.

EXCELLENT!  You have a very wonderful desire to have better mental health and well-being.  That motivation is your best friend and can be the engine oil for learning some great stuff about your own mind.  Socrates said “The unexamined life is not worth living” but with your courage to take your mind off auto-pilot and examine a thing or two it will lead you to a life VERY much worth living.  YOUR WONDERFUL wild and free life.

Rates

Individual sessions: £72

Couples: £78 per couple

Group workshops: £150 for 10 sessions

Sessions are 60 minutes and Workshops are 90 minutes.

Concessions may be available for those in special circumstances, please contact me directly.
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